the deathish gallery shuffle and the magic harrypotter enjoy-your-dinner looking stick

I hate the museum shuffle, the self-conscious drag from painting to painting, maintaining a constant distance from every piece as if afraid of violating their personal space. Always reminds me of horrible nights out with people from work in which you are obliged to do that dance around a handbag which is just a grim pastiche of different ways of standing awkwardly set to music you don't like.

It's a choreography of boredom and obedience, a dress rehearsal for the performance of institutional interactions, a set piece to be trotted out in dole queues, shopping centres, magistrates' courts, airports, pedestrian crossings, jobs where there is nothing to be done yet you have to be seen to be busy.

Is that actually what They (the Man) want art for, after all? Just another way to keep us in our place?

Not for me, ta. What can I do about that then?

Here's a small answer, at least.  The Public* has delightfully named it  'magic harrypotter enjoy-your-dinner looking stick'. Yes it's a chopstick with a UV LED on it and very well it works too both for doing lighting and acting as a self-consciousness dispersing rod. I was excessively proud of my little invention until I realised I had just invented the torch. Oh well, originality be buggered, sez I, at least we have created a space for a little Public Engagement with Engagement.

*Of course I include myself as an equally sorry and lumpen member of that sorry & lumpen class  'The Public' .